In reply to a regular correspondent on a vital issue of literary criticism:
Dear C-:
In re: yours of 6/26/04 regarding the gloomy subject matter of Edith Wharton’s novel, Ethan Frome.
I'm surprised that none of Ms. Wharton’s critics mentioned how inefficient and open to non-fatal result sleigh-crashing would be as a method of suicide.
As a long-time cops-courts-clerks reporter I often did annual summaries of death statistics kept by county sheriffs. Gunshot, hanging, drowning and falls from high places were far more popular means of self-annihilation than sleigh-crashing. In fact, I don't recall ever hearing of anyone sleigh-crashing himself or herself to death, at least not in Northern California. I'm sure I would have heard about it.
My personal favorite recorded methods of suicide -- both intentional and unintentional -- were self-sawing and self-castration, respectively. Remarkably, they occurred in the same year and in the same county.
A sheriff's deputy patroling a mountain road early one morning found a man dead from having apparently fallen into a chain saw strapped to the spare tire mount on the side of the man’s pickup.
It was at first thought to be an accident, until the coroner's investigator considered how much patience and premeditation was required to remove the tire, lash the chainsaw in its place, fire up the saw and then run or lean into it.
The self-castration was more tragic, really. A gay man living in a cabin near Truckee apparently decided to take matters into his own hands after he realized that, no matter how long he saved, he would never be able to afford a professionally-done sex change operation.
Alternatively, he purchased a medical textbook, a sharp scalpel, some painkillers and a lot of sanitary napkins to sop up the blood he expected to result from his do-itself-surgery.
On the day in question, the man put a pot of water on the stove to boil, sat in a kitchen chair and set about excising the unwanted organ.
Unfortunately, he began to bleed faster than he could keep with, lost consciousness and died from "ex-sanguination."
From the careful study and procedural notes the man had kept with the textbook, the investigating coroner concluded the victim had died -- and I quote from memory here --"by means of his own invention."
The undersheriff said the coroner had officially ruled the death a "misadventure," in order the save the victim's few family members the public embarrassment that was sure to follow "if some asshole reporter like you ever got a hold of it."
Ignoring the "asshole" bit, I find the terminology coroners use to be curiously elegant in this modern age -- elegant in extremis, as it were. -- Tom Nadeau
Dear C-:
In re: yours of 6/26/04 regarding the gloomy subject matter of Edith Wharton’s novel, Ethan Frome.
I'm surprised that none of Ms. Wharton’s critics mentioned how inefficient and open to non-fatal result sleigh-crashing would be as a method of suicide.
As a long-time cops-courts-clerks reporter I often did annual summaries of death statistics kept by county sheriffs. Gunshot, hanging, drowning and falls from high places were far more popular means of self-annihilation than sleigh-crashing. In fact, I don't recall ever hearing of anyone sleigh-crashing himself or herself to death, at least not in Northern California. I'm sure I would have heard about it.
My personal favorite recorded methods of suicide -- both intentional and unintentional -- were self-sawing and self-castration, respectively. Remarkably, they occurred in the same year and in the same county.
A sheriff's deputy patroling a mountain road early one morning found a man dead from having apparently fallen into a chain saw strapped to the spare tire mount on the side of the man’s pickup.
It was at first thought to be an accident, until the coroner's investigator considered how much patience and premeditation was required to remove the tire, lash the chainsaw in its place, fire up the saw and then run or lean into it.
The self-castration was more tragic, really. A gay man living in a cabin near Truckee apparently decided to take matters into his own hands after he realized that, no matter how long he saved, he would never be able to afford a professionally-done sex change operation.
Alternatively, he purchased a medical textbook, a sharp scalpel, some painkillers and a lot of sanitary napkins to sop up the blood he expected to result from his do-itself-surgery.
On the day in question, the man put a pot of water on the stove to boil, sat in a kitchen chair and set about excising the unwanted organ.
Unfortunately, he began to bleed faster than he could keep with, lost consciousness and died from "ex-sanguination."
From the careful study and procedural notes the man had kept with the textbook, the investigating coroner concluded the victim had died -- and I quote from memory here --"by means of his own invention."
The undersheriff said the coroner had officially ruled the death a "misadventure," in order the save the victim's few family members the public embarrassment that was sure to follow "if some asshole reporter like you ever got a hold of it."
Ignoring the "asshole" bit, I find the terminology coroners use to be curiously elegant in this modern age -- elegant in extremis, as it were. -- Tom Nadeau
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